A Woman and her Home

During my recent stay in Dadhuwa, a Gurung village nestled in the foothills of the Himalayas, I found myself hoping for a deeper connection with the lady of the house, Deepa. She doesn't speak any English, but her face and her actions speak volumes. Though I was only with her in her home for a brief stay, a new world - a real world unfolded in front of me. It is this world that I would like to share with you in brief. I hope to offer more insight as I gain it myself over the coming weeks when I meet her again. For now, this will have to do! I do hope you are as humbled by this description as I am.

It's one thing to pass through a Himalayan village and to briefly glimpse the inside of a home. I should know. I've seen hundreds over the past 4 years on various treks and visits to Nepal. It's also one thing to read of or hear stories of what it's like to live in a village here in the foothills of the Himalayas. However, it's quite another thing to actually experience it in the slowness of a visitor's day.

Can you imagine living without electricity? Without running water? For that matter, without accessible water or hot water for a bath on a cold day? How about a kitchen sink set up outside to share with the chickens? Can you imagine counting the number of times you've traveled in a vehicle on one hand? What about life without internet, shopping, or the need to buy the latest anti-wrinkle ointment?! Does that sound like a hard life? Is it a hard life? I don't know. Does modernity and the latest technology or convenience really make for an easier life? Again, I don't know. Fortunately, the following description has little to do with the ease or difficulty of life. It's really more about my brief encounter with a woman in her home.

Most times, when I saw Deepa she was in her throne room, which is her kitchen. It was here that she ruled and nurtured. Her home is typical of a Gurung village. It's 2 stories of mud, wood, stone, and tin. There are a few windows as natural light is their primary source of light.  She does have a few solar powered lights for evening time. These were nice! The main level was all that I was exposed to. I presume the upper level was for storage and sleeping. The main level was a large room that served as kitchen, dining area, and sitting room. Really, it was more than enough.

In Deepa's kitchen, which accounts for much of the main level, she has all the basic needs. You can see in the photos a small pit dug out for fire and various cooking materials spread throughout. Notice there is no ventilation. When she is cooking, the room fills with smoke, hence the darkness of soot you can see on the wood. You don't find many chairs here! Deepa's throne is a thin matt that provides a bit of cushion and separation from the adobe floor. She spends much of her day sitting, cooking, and hosting local passersby. For the few days that I was there, I found her home to be a hub of activity. Many people came to visit. Many came for her generosity with food and milk. Every day I drank warm milk from their water buffalo! Yes - it tastes very much like you'd think! It's milk!

When it it's meal time, Deepa serves each of us, ensures we each have our fill, then collects our dishes so we'll have room to talk and move around a bit. After we are satisfied, she serves herself and eats. This is a Gurung custom. When she is finished, she carries all the dishes outside to her stone washing area. It is a square area of smooth stone a short distance from the entrance of her home. With only a pitcher of water, some ashes from the fire, and a corn husk she washes the dishes. At the evening meal, she washes in the dark.

When Deepa isn't in her kitchen, she is out in the wilderness of the village cutting grass for the many animals of their home: goats, sheep, and a water buffalo. She also has several chickens that help with the dishes. Chickens eat a lot! When her water supply is low, she walks 1-hour to the river to collect water in a metal vessel that she carries in a wicker basket and straps to her head. When the sun is out, laundry is done in a large bowl of soap and water then hung to dry after a good rinsing! The lady of the home is also responsible for all of the planting. She plants and harvests rice, beans and lentils, cucumber, onions, tomatoes, and more.

Doesn't she look like a happy queen? Watching her in her daily activities, I couldn't help but wonder about who she is on the inside. What does she think about? What does she enjoy? What brings her peace? I can't discern her heart, but I can certainly comment on her hospitality and her warmth as a host. I have a remarkable opportunity to spend 1-month with this woman in her home in the near future. I so look forward to that time! I know I will have many more stories to share from that time.